A Simple, Comprehensive Guide to Taking Control of Your Kids’ Online Activities on Apple Devices16 minute read

The Ultimate Guide to Protecting Your Kids Online Without Government Overreach

Australia’s debate about banning social media for under-16s has stirred strong opinions. While advocates and the government claim such measures are essential for child safety, this approach risks creating an invasive, one-size-fits-all solution that compromises privacy and burdens every Australian with unnecessary bureaucracy. I’ve written about why I’m against it in The Australian Financial Review. In response to that article, I had a heap of parents say: “I literally don’t know how to keep my kids safe online”.

As parents, you don’t need government intervention to safeguard your children online. You have the tools to take complete control—and you don’t have to be a tech wizard to do it. This guide is designed to empower even the least tech-savvy parent to create a safe, secure, and balanced online environment for their kids while fostering trust and independence.

Here’s everything you need to know.

1. Why You Don’t Need the Government’s Help

Advocates for a government-led social media ban focus on online dangers like cyberbullying, exposure to harmful content, and excessive screen time. These are valid concerns—but a government-enforced ban creates more problems than it solves:

• Privacy Risks: Age verification systems would require Australians to hand over sensitive personal information to tech companies or the government, putting your family’s data at risk.
• Circumvention by Kids: Kids are tech-savvy and will quickly find ways around bans, whether through VPNs, fake accounts, or borrowing devices.
• Erosion of Parental Responsibility: The government shouldn’t replace parents in managing their children’s digital lives. You’re the best-equipped person to guide your kids online—not a bureaucrat.

Instead of relying on blanket bans, parents can take charge with tools already at their fingertips.

2. Start with the Right Devices

What is it?
The type of device your child uses dramatically impacts your ability to control their online activities. Choosing the right device ensures you maintain oversight and limits access to harmful content.

Options for Parents:

• iPhones and iPads: Apple’s ecosystem is ideal for robust parental controls, offering features like Family Sharing, Screen Time, and app restrictions.
• Dumb Phones: These basic mobile phones allow only calls and texts, keeping kids connected without the distractions of apps or social media.
• Dumb Watches: Devices like the Pixbee Watch offer GPS tracking, voice and video calling capabilities, ability for parents to track calls, a “School Mode”, but no access to the internet or games.
• Family Computers: Choose Mac systems – they have built-in parental control software, restricting access to harmful content and limiting screen time.
• Router-Based Controls: Routers with parental controls let you filter internet content for all connected devices in your home.

Why is it important?
The device you choose sets the foundation for how easily you can manage your child’s digital habits.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Borrow a friend’s device for unrestricted access.
2. Hide an old device that you forgot to lock or retire.
3. Convince you they need an unrestricted device for school or social reasons.

How to control it:

• Lock down unused devices and perform regular “device audits” to ensure no rogue tech is hiding under the bed.
• Enforce a no-loan policy with friends’ devices and educate other parents about your approach.
• Choose age-appropriate devices and scale up access as your child demonstrates responsibility.

3. Set Up a Family Domain for Centralised Control

What is it?
A family domain gives you full control over email accounts for every family member. It’s the first step in ensuring all online registrations are tied to an email you can monitor.

How to do it:

1. Register a domain (e.g., smithfamily.com) through GoDaddy, Google Domains, or similar providers.
2. Set up email hosting through Google Workspace or Zoho Mail.
3. Create individual emails for each family member:
   • john@smithfamily.com
   • mary@smithfamily.com
   • signup@smithfamily.com for public accounts.

Why is it important?
This gives your family a unified digital identity, keeps personal emails private, and allows you to monitor registrations and subscriptions.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Create unauthorised Gmail or Yahoo accounts.
2. Use a friend’s email to bypass restrictions.
3. Sign up with disposable email services like 10MinuteMail.

How to control it:

• Inspect devices regularly for unauthorised accounts.
• Block email registration sites on your home router.
• Educate your kids about the risks of throwaway emails, such as scams or phishing attacks.

4. Master Apple’s Family Sharing Features

What is it?
Apple’s Family Sharing feature connects all family members’ devices, allowing you to approve app purchases, set Screen Time limits, and monitor activities.

How to do it:

1. On your device, go to Settings > Your Name > Family Sharing.
2. Set yourself as the organiser and add family members’ Apple IDs.
3. Use their real birthdate when creating accounts to ensure age-appropriate settings.

Why is it important?
It centralises control and ensures your child can only access apps, content, and subscriptions you approve.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Convince another adult in the family group to grant permissions.
2. Create a new Apple ID without your knowledge.
3. Borrow devices outside the family group to bypass restrictions.

How to control it:

• Limit permissions to only trusted adults.
• Regularly check devices for unauthorised Apple IDs.
• Educate other parents about your approach so they don’t inadvertently enable your child.

5. Use Screen Time to Set Boundaries

What is it?
Screen Time lets you manage app usage, enforce downtime, and block specific websites.

How to do it:

1. Go to Settings > Screen Time > [Child’s Name].
2. Set:
   • Downtime to block device use at night or during school hours.
   • App Limits for social media, games, or streaming services.
   • Always Allowed apps like Phone or Messages.

Why is it important?
It ensures devices are used responsibly and prevents overexposure to harmful content.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Guess your Screen Time passcode.
2. Reset the device to erase restrictions.
3. Use a hidden device to bypass limits.

How to control it:

• Use a strong passcode that isn’t easy to guess.
• Enable Activation Lock to prevent unauthorised resets.
• Conduct random audits to ensure no hidden devices are in use.

6. Teach Online Safety and Digital Literacy

What is it?
Educating your child about the risks of the internet empowers them to make safer choices.

How to do it:

1. Share examples of phishing scams and how to spot them.
2. Use password managers to encourage strong, unique passwords.
3. Set up two-factor authentication for all accounts.

Why is it important?
It fosters responsibility and equips your child with the tools to navigate the internet safely.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Disable two-factor authentication to simplify logins.
2. Click on phishing links that promise free items.
3. Download pirated software loaded with malware.

How to control it:

• Make 2FA mandatory for all accounts and store recovery codes securely.
• Run phishing drills to test their ability to spot scams.
• Blacklist unverified download sites on your home network.

7. Monitor Internet Activity at the Router Level

What is it?
Your home router is the gateway to the internet for all devices in your household. By setting up parental controls at the router level, you can monitor and filter online activities across every connected device.

How does it work?
Many modern routers offer parental control features, allowing you to block websites, limit internet access during specific hours, and track browsing history.

How to do it:

1. Log into your router’s admin settings (check the manual or the back of the router for instructions).
2. Enable parental controls and set up content filters to block adult or inappropriate websites.
3. Set time restrictions for internet access, such as cutting off Wi-Fi at bedtime.
4. Use tools like OpenDNS or Circle to enhance router-level controls.

Why is it important?
It provides an additional layer of control that applies to all devices, even those not managed through Apple’s Family Sharing.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Connect to a neighbour’s Wi-Fi to bypass your restrictions.
2. Use mobile data if they have a SIM card.
3. Reset the router to disable your settings.

How to control it:

• Secure your Wi-Fi network with a strong password and disable guest access.
• Monitor data usage on their phone plan and set limits with your mobile provider.
• Physically secure the router in a locked cabinet or out-of-reach location.

8. Use Location Tracking Responsibly

What is it?
Apple devices offer GPS tracking features that let you monitor your child’s location in real time. This helps ensure their physical safety and keeps you informed about their whereabouts.

How does it work?
The Find My app on iPhones and iPads allows you to track any family member’s device, as long as they’re part of your Family Sharing group.

How to do it:

1. Open Settings > Your Name > Find My on your child’s device and ensure it’s enabled.
2. Share their location with you by going to Settings > Privacy > Location Services > Share My Location.
3. Install the Find My app on your own device to monitor their movements.

Why is it important?
It provides peace of mind, especially if your child travels alone to school or activities.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Turn off location services or put their device in Airplane Mode.
2. Leave their phone behind while heading out with friends.
3. Borrow a device that isn’t linked to your Family Sharing group.

How to control it:

• Set Screen Time restrictions to block changes to location services.
• Communicate the importance of tracking for safety, not surveillance, to build trust.
• Reward honesty: Encourage your child to inform you of plans rather than hiding their location.

9. Create a Tech-Free Zone at Home

What is it?
Designate specific areas in your home where devices are not allowed, such as bedrooms, the dinner table, or family activity spaces.

How does it work?
By keeping technology out of certain areas, you reduce overuse and encourage face-to-face interaction.

How to do it:

1. Set clear rules about where devices can and cannot be used.
2. Provide alternative activities in these zones, like books, board games, or outdoor play.
3. Use charging stations located in a communal space to enforce device-free bedtime.

Why is it important?
It prevents excessive screen time, encourages family bonding, and promotes healthier habits.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Sneak devices into banned areas, claiming they need it “just this once.”
2. Use a wearable device (like a smartwatch) to stay connected.
3. Claim it’s for homework to gain access in tech-free zones.

How to control it:

• Conduct spot checks in tech-free zones.
• Provide alternatives: Invest in non-digital tools for schoolwork, like calculators or printed books.
• Lead by example: Follow the same rules yourself to set the tone.

10. Monitor and Limit Social Media Apps

What is it?
Social media apps are often the primary concern for parents, as they expose kids to cyberbullying, inappropriate content, and excessive comparison.

How does it work?
Apple’s Screen Time and Content Restrictions tools allow you to limit or block access to these apps entirely.

How to do it:

1. Use Screen Time > App Limits to restrict daily usage of social media apps.
2. Block certain apps outright through Settings > Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions > Allowed Apps.
3. Regularly review their App Store activity to ensure they haven’t downloaded new social platforms.

Why is it important?
It minimises exposure to harmful content and encourages healthier interactions.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Download alternative apps that aren’t blocked (e.g., shifting from TikTok to a lesser-known platform).
2. Use web browsers to access social media sites instead of apps.
3. Borrow friends’ devices to use unrestricted accounts.

How to control it:

• Restrict app downloads through Family Sharing approval processes.
• Block access to social media websites on Safari through Content Restrictions.
• Educate them on social media risks and involve them in discussions about healthy online habits.

11. Rotate Passcodes Regularly

What is it?
Changing the passwords and passcodes you use for parental controls keeps kids from learning and exploiting them.

How does it work?
Apple’s parental controls rely on passcodes to enforce restrictions, and these should be rotated periodically to stay secure.

How to do it:

1. Set a unique Screen Time passcode through Settings > Screen Time > Use Screen Time Passcode.
2. Avoid using predictable numbers like birthdays or anniversaries.
3. Rotate the passcode every few months and store it securely in a password manager.

Why is it important?
It ensures your controls remain effective, even if your child tries to guess the code.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Watch you enter the passcode over your shoulder.
2. Guess simple combinations like “1234” or “0000.”
3. Reset the device to remove the passcode entirely.

How to control it:

• Cover the screen when entering passcodes.
• Use long, random codes: Switch to a 6-digit passcode for added security.
• Enable Activation Lock to prevent unauthorised resets.

12. DNS Level Content Blocking

What is it?
DNS (Domain Name System) level content blocking is a method of filtering internet traffic at its source. By managing which websites and services devices can connect to, parents can create a safer online environment for their kids.

How does it work?
Every time a device accesses a website, it queries a DNS server to resolve the domain name (e.g., “example.com”) into an IP address. With DNS level content blocking, you can configure this server to filter out unwanted content—blocking adult sites, malicious links, or distracting platforms before they even load. Services like NextDNS and Cloudflare’s one.one.one.one for Families offer pre-configured DNS settings designed for this purpose.

How to do it:

1. Choose a DNS Service:
   • NextDNS allows granular filtering options, device tracking, and activity logs for a tailored experience.
   • Cloudflare’s one.one.one.one for Families is simpler to set up but less customisable.
2. Set It Up on Your Router:
   • Log in to your router settings and replace the default DNS addresses with those from your chosen service (e.g., 1.1.1.1 and 1.0.0.1 for Cloudflare). This ensures every connected device uses the filtered DNS.
3. Create Separate WiFi Networks:
   Most modern routers allow you to create multiple WiFi networks. By setting up a dedicated “Kids WiFi,” you can apply strict filtering and monitoring rules to all devices connected to it. This ensures your kids’ devices operate within a controlled environment while leaving the adult network unrestricted.
   
   Benefits:
   Simplifies management: You can apply DNS-level filters or other restrictions to the kids’ network only.
   Prevents accidental access: Adult devices won’t be affected by the restrictions applied to the kids’ network.
   
   How to Set It Up:
   Log in to your router’s settings (usually through a browser or app provided by the router manufacturer).
   Create a second WiFi network and name it something easily identifiable (e.g., “Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo WiFi”).
   Apply the necessary restrictions or filters to this network.
   
4. Protect Devices Outside the Home:
   • Use a service like Tailscale to route traffic from kids’ devices through your home network, even when they’re elsewhere. This keeps DNS filtering active, whether they’re at grandma’s house or on a family holiday.

Why is it important?
DNS level content blocking works behind the scenes, offering a robust layer of protection without needing to install apps or software on each device. It reduces exposure to inappropriate content, phishing sites, and other online threats while maintaining speed and simplicity.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

• Switching to Mobile Data: Kids may disable WiFi to bypass the home DNS.
• Manually Changing DNS Settings: Tech-savvy kids might try to configure their own DNS servers.
• Using a VPN: VPNs can mask traffic and bypass DNS restrictions entirely.

How to control it:

1. Disable Mobile Data: On Apple devices, go to Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions > Cellular Data Changes and block access to changes.
2. Restrict DNS Changes: Use Screen Time to prevent modifications to network settings.
3. Monitor and Block VPNs: Many DNS services, including NextDNS, can detect and block VPN traffic.
4. Educate and Communicate: No technology is foolproof. Talk to your kids about why these restrictions exist and set boundaries together.

By combining DNS level blocking with the other tools in your parental control arsenal, you’ll be one step closer to creating a safe, balanced digital environment for your family.

13. Reward Positive Behaviour

What is it?
Encouraging responsible technology use by rewarding good behaviour creates a positive reinforcement loop.

How does it work?
When kids demonstrate they can follow rules, you gradually loosen restrictions or offer privileges.

How to do it:

1. Create a digital “responsibility chart” to track adherence to rules.
2. Offer rewards like extra screen time, access to a new app, or increased independence.
3. Involve them in setting new boundaries as they earn your trust.

Why is it important?
It builds accountability and shows kids that responsible behaviour leads to greater freedom.

How will my kid try and circumvent?

1. Pretend to follow rules while secretly using workarounds.
2. Manipulate reward systems to gain privileges unfairly.
3. Argue for rewards without actually meeting the criteria.

How to control it:

• Verify compliance before granting rewards.
• Be consistent: Stick to pre-established rules to avoid being manipulated.
• Tie privileges to earned trust: Make it clear that responsibilities must be upheld over time.

14. Stay One Step Ahead

The key to maintaining control is staying informed and adaptable. Kids are clever, but with the right tools and knowledge, you can outsmart even the most tech-savvy attempts to bypass your rules. By combining practical steps with open communication, you empower yourself as a parent and protect your child’s digital future.

By following this guide, you’re not just safeguarding your child—you’re taking back control from governments and corporations. You don’t need a tech background to be the protector of your family’s online safety. You’ve got this.